There’s something we need to transmit information to others (at least until someone finds a way to realize telepathy): that thing is called “communication”.
In its basic form, it’s something natural, innate within us: a child starts crying out loud when he need food, attention (and whatsoever a newborn need). We can say that the ability of a baby to communicate is more or less “in line” with his/her need: he doesn’t need to express complexity and nuances, if you’re skilled enough we can even recognize the different forms of crying related to their need for sleep, food or care. But then we grow up and, while we are taught the grammar rules of our native mothertongue and, possibly, how to behave politely towards others. Hopefully, someone was lucky enough to learn one or more foreign languages, to communicate with people abroad, so… why it seems we’re not able to communicate each other, with consequent misunderstandings? We are missing something…
There are several models of communication to start investigating more, but if you don’t have time/will to dive into the communication theory prefer a practical an quick approach to the theme, it can be useful to take a look to some TED and TEDx talks on the subject.
Some Talks
- Celeste Headlee (radio journalist and author): 10 ways to have a better conversation | TED
- Teenagers exhange more text messages than looking to each others in the eyes
- Ten suggestions to improve your communication:
- Don’t multitask – be present with mind.
- Enter every conversation assuming that you have something to learn. Don’t just try to get your point across. Everybody is an expert in some thing.
- Use open ended questions. Who what when where why how.
- Go with the flow. Thoughts will come into your mind and go out of your mind. Let them go. Don’t think for two minutes about a clever question to ask.
- If you don’t know say that you don’t know.
- Don’t equate your experience with theirs. It is never the same. It’s not about you. Don’t take that moment. Conversations are not A promotional opportunity.
- Try not to repeat yourself.
- Stay out of the weeds. People don’t care about the years the names The dates all those details.
- Listen. Buddha: if your mouth is open you’re not learning. Calvin Coolidge: no man ever listened his way out of a job. We don’t listen with the intent to understand, we listen with the intent to reply.
- Be brief. A good conversation is like a miniskirt, short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.
- The 110 techniques of communication and public speaking | David JP Phillips (founder of Sweden’s largest Presentation Skills training company) | TEDxZagreb 2018
- Author has spent 7 years studying 5000 speakers, amateurs and professionals (it’s like a meta-review of talks, but focusing on the way the communicate), identifying 110 actions
- Simple equation: the more you complete, the better your conversation. There’s a correlation between actions and posture (and everything more than verbal) and the perception
- If the message is not coherent with the body linguage, there will be a dissonance (like saying you’re excited, but without emotions in te voice)
- Our brain will prefer a boring message communicated in a slow-pace and “intense” way rather than an interesting message but communicated fast and without emotion
- Take pauses or even an audible breath or a small laugh (depending on the kind of anticipation you want to create) instead of long embarassing “eehmm”
- He spent 6 months to learn how to properly make a full Duchenne Smile: it gives stability to the doer and happiness to anyone that will see
- Every human should learn more about presentation skills
- The Power of Communication | Nina Legath (Head of communication in a big company) | TEDxYouth@ISF 2019
- Communication is the most important skill (she’s honest enough to declare she’s biased since she earn money with that)
- On her experience, the way one conveys information is more important that the information itself
- Since we’ll be partially replaced by machines (AI), future human workers (e.g.: medical doctors) will be exempt from physical and analytical work (done by computers and robots), so they will focus more on create a story and communicate with patients
- Communication is about human needs like meaning and connection, that will survive whatever the future changes
- Communication is not about “you”, so you should focus on others (e.g.: what they known and what they need to know), tune on others
- The Art of Effective Communication | Marcus Alexander Velazquez (Jip hop artist and actor) | TEDxWolcottSchool 2019
- Presenter starts asking if anyone felt “hostage” of incredibly long and boring, pointless conversations
- It’s like with computer: if you have a lot of data in front of you, but you don’t understand it, it’s useless
- If a conversation is ineffective and goes much longer than needed, it’s a waste time and a waste of emotions, too (leading up to waste relationships)
- Some people start pointless conversations like Michael Scott (character of “The Office”), it can be funny on a sitcome, but not in real life: start with a clear purpose. And if you can’t explain it simply, it means you didn’t understand
- Humilty: it’s not about you, it’s about your audience, not the way you think it will sound better for you
- Your actions can promote or nullify your words
- The Power of Communication and Body Language | Rodney Smith (Police officer) | TEDxRaleigh
- With time, patience and pratice, it’s possible to learn microexpressions and small clues at a professional levels
- An effective communication is established when a messenger communicates and the receiver provides a feedback, so the messenger adjusts, in a cycle
- We must understand the way other people communicates if we want to speak the same language
- Why communication goes wrong…and how to fix it | Tim Pollard (founder and CEO of a messaging consulting firm) | TEDxBillings 2022
- Churchill and Hitler were able, with persuasion, to rule entire nations
- Every presentation (or communication) is at danger by 3 sirens, especially with PowerPoint or similar tools: Slides, Success and Style
- Start with the Action (decision) in mind: “what do I want my audience to do?”
- Beliefs (big ideas): “what does my audience need to believe?”
- What my audience need to know to believe that? (data, pictures, etc.)
Oh, yes, you’re right: the title of this post is the title of a song by Led Zeppelin.
